A Partly True Account of My Remarkable Life

Todd Kreisman's life has been a bit like yours—not all that interesting. However, thanks to an overactive imagination and a propensity for spewing bullshit, he has written a memoir that will captivate, enthrall, entertain, confuse, frustrate, and make feel gooey inside. This is your unique chance to step inside the shoes of a person who has not done much of note, and to learn about any number of thrilling things that have not actually happened.

Each story does, in fact, begin with a small seed of truth, but then Kreisman waters it, embeds it in potting soil, digs it back up, smashes it to pieces with a brick hammer, and scatters the granules in the back alley of a Chili’s. This book is guaranteed not to change you in any way whatsoever. Which is good news, because let's be honest—you're great.